The ‘sandwich generation’ refers to adults who are caring for aging parents or relatives while also supporting children, family members, careers, and their daily responsibilities. As more people find themselves in the middle – balancing family, work, and caregiving at the same time – many feel sandwiched between the needs of different generations.
We spoke with Dr. Irina Koyfman, DNP, NP-C, RN, former Board Member of The Coordinating Center and author of The Sandwich Generation Handbook, about caring for aging parents and growing children while still making room for yourself.
What inspired you to write The Sandwich Generation Handbook?
Dr. Irina Koyfmann: I was in a leadership role, raising two children, and caring for my father, grandmother, and uncle. Because I speak English and work as a healthcare professional, I became the person my immigrant family turned to for help. When someone first described me as part of the ‘sandwich generation’, it finally gave a name to what I was experiencing.
What did that term mean to you?
IK: It helped me realize I was not just tired or disorganized. I was part of a larger group of people being pulled in multiple directions by love, responsibility, and family needs.
How did you want your book to help caregivers?
IK: I wanted to create something practical. Each chapter focuses on a common challenge, like finances, burnout, time management, or end-of-life care, and offers simple steps someone can take right away.
What is one simple step that can help caregivers feel less overwhelmed?
IK: Get organized in a way that feels manageable. Even something as simple as creating a folder for important papers can make a person feel calmer and more in control.
Why do small steps matter so much?
IK: When you are managing so much, the obvious next step is not always obvious. Small, free, realistic solutions can help people move forward without adding more stress.
What methods of supporting yourself were important for you during your caregiving journey?
IK: Spirituality and humor. Often, caregivers can get lost in their role, but spirituality helps people to reconnect with who they are beyond caregiving. Humor also helps caregivers survive hard moments. When my father had dementia, it helped to remind myself that his disease was not about me. Humor, compassion, and understanding helped me stay grounded.
What is the first way communities can support caregivers?
IK: Start with acknowledgement. Caregivers need to know their experience has a name and that they are not the only ones feeling tired, stretched, or pulled in different directions.
What else can help?
IK: Education and research. Caregivers do not need to know everything, but learning about topics like hospice, palliative care, available benefits, and communication can help them make better decisions for the person they love.
What are three messages you want caregivers to remember?
IK: First, caregiving can feel lonely, but you are not alone. Second, caregiving should be normalized because most people will either give or need care at some point. Third, caregivers should learn how to ask good questions, especially when using AI or other tools to find health information.
Why does asking the right question matter?
IK: The better the question, the better the answer. Caregivers should be clear about who they are, what they need to know, and what level of information is helpful for them.
Interested in learning more about caregiving and The Sandwich Generation? Discover more in our Community Enrichment series! These webinars provide information to help you achieve your goals for a meaningful life. Click here to discover our upcoming sessions.
Click HERE to visit Dr. Koyfman’s website to learn more about her books and AI and caregiving.
